You ain't no Einstein

Einstein Brothers Bagels in Evanston, Illinois has been through a great deal of changes. I started working there last May. Of the ten other people who worked with me then, only one remains: Mr. Buns. Nope, not a nickname. Barjees Buns and I are the only two survivors of this past year's Einstein Bagel drama. There are too many interesting stories about the people I used to work with and why they no longer work at Einstein Bagels. I'll tell you a couple.

Let's start with Barry. Barry was once a great athlete and could have any woman he wanted, or so he told me. Everyday in fact. But Barry was a victim of his own conceit. One day he decided to buy a cat for a girl whom he admired, even though she was someone else's girlfriend. This act lead to the event that would form Barry into the man I knew. The boyfriend was not pleased with how his girlfriend received her precious, new kitty, and he wanted Barry to know that his gift was not acceptable. So he found Barry, but first he found the bat he would hit against Barry's head. Once the two had been found, Barry's life changed forever. The details of this story are blurred; Barry was very forgetful, which he blamed on the beating. Through it all he still remained very conceited. Appartently a good beating doesn't change everything about you. His final day at Einstein Brothers involved the police, accusations of physical abuse, stealing, and excalmatory phrases such as "Racist Bitch". If you're gonna go, better go all out, and that is most certainly what Barry did.

Barry was fired merely a few weeks after his good friend, Kelly, quit. Quitting can be subtle way to bow out or it can be a means to leave a job for something better. Kelly did a mixture of both. Kelly became our baker at a time when we desperately needed his help. He was a little unfocused, but that didn't really matter, as I said... it was a desperate measure. Unfortunately, our General Manager was a little quick to hire him due to the desperateness of the situation, and she did not perform his background check straight away. Once it came back, it was confirmed that he was indeed a felon. And therefore he had lied on his application. But. Einstein Brothers was still desperate, and he kept his job. No, Kelly left Einsteins out of his own free will. A girl he had been seeing, but didn't really like, was given 5000 dollars from her very wealthy uncle. He heard this news and realized how much he liked her. However later that night while they were hanging out, he forgot just how much he liked her when he left her and Chicago with the 5000 dollars. We needed a new baker after that night.

They were crazy characters. I kinda miss 'em.

*SPECIAL*: The next blog will consist entirely of font talk. Font talk is probably not what you think it is... Or maybe it IS what you think it is.... You'll have to read it to find out.

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